April 27, 2020: Substance Abuse

Substance Abuse

I keep hoping that things will be okay,

But then again, they’re not.

Always some little thing getting in the way:

You loved me, but then you forgot.

You say you’ll see me, but you can’t find the time.

I’m just adding to all your duress.

You’ve got other appointments, and you’re running behind,

But the reason - you don’t want to confess.

You say you’ll call me, but you don’t follow through,

And you’re quick to take offense.

When I try to figure out what’s up with you,

You tell me I’m way too intense.

You call me your baby, and then you desert me.

You can’t see how I’d feel confused.

But it isn’t really that you wanted to hurt me,

When it’s substance that you abuse.

You are constantly preoccupied

By things that you cannot explain:

Friends to protect and pathways to hide,

And people you both love and disdain.

You are distant from all that you cannot mention

And trapped in your own contradictions,

And it’s hard to give even basic attention

When you need to feed your addictions!

Surely I’m not worth your confidence:

I might quench a long-burning fuse,

And set off a bomb in my innocence

By exposing where someone’s been abused.

But the larger reason you won’t let down your guard

Is to protect your hiding feeling.

You’re a sensitive soul, and you try to be hard.

It’s yourself you’re afraid of revealing.

And toking on your pipe is no big deal,

Coming home to that delectable high,

Where you feel again what you’ve wanted to feel.

Life is more than just getting by.

But if you’re getting by, you know you’re doing alright.

You’ve got to do what you can to get loose,

And remember the moments of second sight

When you’re rolling through substance abuse!

It’s on the way up or on the way down --

You can’t always maintain your composure.

You think you could use yet another round

But get burned by over-exposure.

Your emotions morph into crazy distortions,

Derailing your concentration.

Thoughts start spinning out of place and proportion

In the jitters of intoxication.

You re-focus into the intricacies;

Maintaining your lust for a drug

In exposures and flirtings with intimacies

You can always pass off with a shrug.

You belong to a circle hell-bent on obtaining

What will only go up in smoke,

Divorced from what is and what isn’t sustaining.

It’s a serious game and a joke!

You make alliances - social; financial,

With desperate demands and perks.

The wisdom you gain can be substantial

About what fails and what works.

You immerse yourself in the dangers of dealing;

Make friends with a fear settling deep in your bones,

And you numb the pain of those cold, ragged feelings

In the wonders of just being stoned!

So I can almost count on you to let me down,

Regardless of your intent.

You’ve got business all over this town,

But you can hardly pay your rent.

You like to be clean, but you live in a sty.

It’s not really the life you would choose.

You say you’ll get better, but that’s just a lie,

When you’re living a life you abuse!

Chances you’ve missed start to leave you bitter.

Drink that wine of rationalization!

You’ve got some ambitions, but you’re mostly a quitter,

And you call it procrastination!

Someone offers to help you, but you slap his hand

‘Cause it covers your shame to refuse!

There’s no one left who can understand

But the Spirit which you abuse!

You say you think you’re almost alright.

You just don’t know on whom to depend,

Who accepts your weakness and honors your light.

Well, you can’t be both an addict and a friend.

Your distinctions dissolve.  You get rotten inside.

The mind will always find an excuse,

So go to your closet where you keep your disguise

And pray to find freedom from substance abuse!

Pray to find freedom -- from substance abuse!

April 26, 2020: Teenagers

Teenagers

The common consensus:  young people are trouble!

It’s like they live in their own little bubble.

It can be intense to be a teen:
New ideas; new feelings, but what do they mean?
As we attain to our own, we are caught in between

Being a child and yet almost grown.
Feeling protected, but being alone.
Needing our parents, but seeking our peers,
And the rights we demand can depend upon years.
What it means to be someone isn’t always so clear.

So a lot of adults won’t get involved
With kids when they have so much unresolved.

They’re scared to offer a new opportunity,
While the kids need a sense of continuity
From the nurture of home to the wider community.

We all need mentors as we seek our direction.
We all need the chance for those kinds of connections
That affirm the value of life as a whole,
Conceiving “employment” as a meaningful role,
Combining service and personal goal.

The fact is – young people are not all alike.
Some can be friends.  Some we won’t like.

Some into sports; some academic.
One likes his music, and wants to be a mechanic.
One must be serious, and another a comic.

Not just teens, but we all need to find
That which will open and focus the mind.
Some, though intelligent, don’t fit into school.
Some need more freedom.  Some need the rules.
Some work with people.  Some work with tools.

So it’s a challenge to find the right solution
To a teenager’s growth and contribution.

Where grownups may sometimes be stymied by doubt,
The young are more willing to try things out.
You can’t blame them for trying, but help show them a route
To put their passions into something constructive.
To wallow in guilt is self-destructive.
In one way or another, we’re all befuddled.
The world keeps changing, and if we stay in our bubble,
Whether young or aged, we’re all in trouble!

Each day is a chance to make a fresh start,

In recognition of our paths of the heart!

April 25, 2020: Life at the University

Life at The University

God is great and we’re repressed,
And we thank him for our tests.
To his account our dues are paid.
Give us, Lord, our daily grade.

Every week
The same students
Come to the same room
To hear the same professor
Talk on the same subject
He’s been teaching for years.
I come . . . I go . . .
Greet the friends I’d like to know and
Sit in my void of fears.
Who are we?
What do we mean
In this time and in this place?
“Potential.”
“What?”
“Do you have a moment to waste?”

April 24, 2020: Letter to Jesus, Parts 4 - 7

IV.

Jesus, tell me what it takes to find you:
Must I pass through a number of stages?
Must I leave my whole life behind for you?
Will I meet you working for wages?

Must I find myself dazed and forlorn –
Shell-shocked and shaking with fear,
Cursing the day I was born –
‘til you’d suddenly speak or appear?

Are you really a treasure to find?
What should I expect to see?
What transformation of mind,
Or what knowledge to set me free?

I’ve got to ask you, Mr. Jesus Christ,
Just what you think of a church
That points to your saving sacrifice
And stifles the desire to search?

Who are your real ilk;
Not just the ones you attract:
Are they them who drink you like mother’s milk,
Or those who can Hear and Act?

V.

To some, you’re a personal presence,
Wherein self-hood and Godhood find unity,
While the orthodox see your essence
Translated into their community.

The naturalist calls you a person.
Your devotee calls you divine.
Critics say you’re just a diversion.
Some say you’re a life-giving vine.

And many who have been estranged
Feel that only you are their friend,
Through you, their estrangements are changed,
Though it’s “by their faith” that they mend.

To thinkers, you are a teacher,
And to mystics, a state that is pure.
To the aimless, you come as a leader,
To show them a way that is sure.

VI.

You come like a droplet of rain
From a terrible storm overhead
So that the living may be sustained
While you raise the spiritually dead.

I envision you as a bubble
In the white-water flow of a river,
Rushing through pain and trouble,
But you are not for a moment bewildered.

You are the river of active devotion
Which carves through a mountain of stone,
Heading all the way to the ocean
Where believing becomes what is known.

VII.

I want to walk beside you, Jesus,
Down the road by the side of the hill,
And stop beneath some broad-leafed trees
To draw some water up from the well.

April 23, 2020: Letter to Jesus - Parts 1 - 3

Letter to Jesus

I

I want to walk beside you, Jesus,
Down the road by the side of the hill,
And sit beneath some broad-leafed trees
Beside an abandoned well.

I could sit for days and I’d listen
To stories from when you were young;
The way you discerned your life’s mission,
And the things you did for fun.

I’d like to hear of your sisters and brothers,
And the people you knew on your block.
Did you ever long for a lover?
Were you ever much of a jock?

Did you need to develop your powers?
Were there some things you had to learn?
How has your life become ours?
How do you expect to return?

I’d like to fish with you under the moon
On a row-boat without any cares,
And sing you my favorite tunes,
And kiss your face and hair . . .

II.

I’d ask about those you befriended
And your relationship to Paul,
Where you’ve been since the day you ascended,
And your connection to the God of us all.

I’d like to hear your version of history;
The lives of great leaders like you;
The meaning in human misery,
And how much we can know or do.

Did you never make any errors?
Do you think we could all be that strong?
Or, in this world of heartbreak and terror,
Is there anything “right” or “wrong”?

What do you think of those Gospel reports
And how would you put it today?
What do you think has been most distorted
About things you had to say?

How are your wisdom and kindness
Reflecting out to the earth?
How long must we live in our blindness?
When comes the promised re-birth?


III.

Do we remember you right as the hero
Who wore those painful thorns,
As you made it down to point zero,
Proclaiming the joy of the born –

Remember passing out the bread and wine
In honor of the Passover Miracle?
Did you make it holy, or was it blessed all the time?
Do you think of your Self as material?

And please come now and take me to task
With your version of heaven and hell!
I want to hear what questions you’d ask of me,
And I answer with what I can tell.