May 4: Soul-Searching Soldier

Soul-Searching Soldier

You hike down a trail with your knapsack and gun,

Just another soldier in the shadows and sun.

You won’t let it concern you if this path is incorrect.

Everyone is looking for a better position.

You can’t take time to stop and introspect

When you and your squadron have to finish up your mission!

You’re gonna seize the ammunition before it’s turned on you!

It wasn’t your decision, but you can see it’s really true!

You don’t know for certain how their base has been protected.

You can’t know for certain if they’ve guessed at your advance.

The scouts have gone ahead and you trust what they’ve inspected.

Success in this endeavor cannot be only chance!

On the trail, you think about what’s failure or success,

When the means to war’s accomplishment are causing such distress:

Creating new complexities when their systems are disrupted,

And everyone involved seems to take a different view,

While the leaders we’re supporting have been hopelessly corrupted.

Our intention was to help, but a lot has gone askew!

You see the reasons given – why we had to go to war:

Take a stand for freedom, or even up the score:

These are skewed by the economy, cheap labor, and resources;

Strategic  little gestures made – just to make it all appear

That it’s not the brute advancement of our government’s armed forces,

But a demon, or a ghost, that no one needs to fear!

And sometimes, you might wonder, though it may well be a sin,

How much it even matters if we should lose or win!

Of course, you’ll be wanting to do an honest job,

And not allow your comrades to get hurt, or even mangled,

But the country you are marching through’s been beaten, broke, and robbed.

How does our country serve without getting in the tangle?

You have felt within yourself that wild, perverted fun

That comes from the power of carrying a gun!

You’ve seen for yourself the misery you’ve caused

And the results of many kinds of brutality;

From the passions of expedience, where there aren’t any laws,

And you wonder to yourself, “Is this reality?”

You know, despite the setbacks, some things will be achieved.

So many lies, you can’t keep track – but some things you still believe.

You want to trust that there are leaders who are wise and hold good will,

Who are working for a fair and intelligent solution

You’re trying to hold it down, lest that very hope be killed.

In your courage and your fortitude, you make your contribution.

Still, you’re exposed to sufferings you had never known.

You’ve become sometimes callous, and harder than a stone.

You’ve seen hatred and greed that’s downright psychotic.

You see barefoot wanderers: sick and destitute.

And sometimes it’s hard to feel proud or patriotic,

When you’re asked to stand by and watch as people loot!

Heaven turns to chaotic hell, and you wonder who’s deserving.

Hypocrisy backs into its shell, and you ask, “Who am I serving?”

Is justice an ideal that you're helping to determine?

Or do you feel so disjointed that you don’t even care?

And when you come face to face with an absolute vermin,

Is it in your gun to be fair?

As you’re hiking up the hill, your enemy engages.

They become the target of all your fears and rages,

But you seek your best position, as it has been your training,

While bullets and grenades go flying through the air.

Your shirt is soaked in blood, but there will be no complaining.

Whose blood it is, you hardly even care!

The sergeant cries out that we can’t accept defeat.

At this spot upon the hill, there is no place to retreat.

You crawl into some underbrush where you hope you won’t be seen.

Now the guns have grown quiet, and it’s hard to know the danger.

You hear something rustling. You’re not sure what it could mean,

And you see that you are crouched behind a stranger!

Do you shoot for your country?  Do you shoot for your rage?

Do you shoot for protection?  Do you shoot for your wage?

If asked “was he your enemy?” you’d say “I cannot know,

Though don’t you think I have an alibi?”

If he had run away, do you think you’d let him go?

And what end did all the shooting  -- satisfy?

Regardless of whatever you’ve been told to do,

There are times when life speaks, and you have to be true.

Some will call you a hero.  Some will say you’re a demon.

Some will say you’re a pawn, only lost in confusion.

If you’re a slave to your duty, or escape into treason,

In warfare, there’s never any perfect solution.

And you’ll live with yourself until the day that you die.

You live what you’ve lived and may still wonder why.

Some people wonder.  Some have no respect.

Some project the resentment of where lives have been broken.

Some try to allure you, and you have to deflect

An embrace that is false; a hatred unspoken.

You retain your own dreams, and sometimes you yearn,

And life’s experiences, from which you have learned.

Crawling through the thorns was not always fun.

It was sad sometimes to be your only friend

When you did the things you felt had to be done,

‘Til that battle; that War – finally came to an end.