Selected Limericks
1. Life isn’t going so well.
The reason is I cannot tell.
And I think it’s a shame
That my life is a game
Of finding my own place in hell.
2. I once knew a fellow with wit
Whose every remark was a hit.
When asked how he ever
Attained to be clever,
He answered, “I haven’t learned shit.”
4. An awkward I know is so shy
That I finally went and asked “Why?”
“I’m abandoned and torn
And I can’t even mourn
‘Cause I’ve learned that it’s useless to try.”
6. Miss gregarious’ life’s swift and loud.
She’s admired ‘cause she’s tough and she’s proud.
But she’s playing a role.
Don’t ask for her soul.
She’ll just disappear in the crowd.
8. Jack might’ve been strong, but he sure wasn’t bright.
He was heard to be shouting, “I’m right; I am right!”
Said a cop, “Excuse me,
But I disagree,” and
Jack answered, “Do you want to fight?”
10. Reginald had a singular goal
To be in absolute control.
When he found the way,
He went on display,
And found it was only a role.
11. My words and actions in total congruity,
I will not tolerate ambiguity.
Unless I am sure,
I’ll accept no cure . . .
I’m so sick of missed opportunity!
14. I called God up today on the phone,
Wishing to be understood and condoned,
But I wasted my dime.
She said, “I don’t have time:
Could you leave a short message at the sound of the tone?
15. Reynold, the scholar, never got shook,
But would always methodically listen and look.
A tornado came by
And blew him sky high,
And he asked, “What’s become of my book?”
16. Johnny meant to build a bed,
But wound up to make an extensive tool shed.
I said, “You’re clearly not lazy,
But surely, you’re crazy!”
He answered, “You hit the nail on the head!”
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